John Hilgeman  0:08  
Hello this is John Hilgeman for Lambda Reports a program by and for the lesbian and gay community in the St. Louis area.

John Hilgeman  0:17  
Patrick Leonard, my buddy through St. Louis Effort for AIDS, died Sunday, March the 26th, 1989 of complications from AIDS. This program is a tribute to Patrick.

John Hilgeman  0:28  
Patrick was born in Illinois in 1958. And he later moved to the Lake of the Ozarks and grew up there and in Wichita, Kansas, and then moved to Kansas City. And then to St. Louis, and worked in a variety of occupations as a waiter, caterer, furniture salesman, interior designer, and collector, and merchant of 50s items. And he did a lot of other things as well. In the last couple of years, Patrick organized the St. Louis NAMES Project Workshop, and the visit of the AIDS Memorial Quilt to St. Louis, and raised quite a bit of money for direct services for people with AIDS. And his work with the NAMES Project was recognized by an award from St. Louis effort for AIDS, the NAMES Project, and a letter of appreciation from Cleve Jones, founder and director of the NAMES Project. And he was also honored by Sandra Spiritas of HIV Challenge 2000 and Cumberworth with a Floral Challenge Award for his work with the NAMES Project.

John Hilgeman  1:34  
Our guests on the program today are Diana and Alan McLenigan, Patrick's mother and stepfather, and Patrick Gregory, an artist and a healthcare worker who worked on many of the panels made at the St. Louis NAMES Project workshop. I guess we've all got memories of Patrick and lots of stories to tell. I know that he was a really lively person, and in many ways had a lot of energy and brought smiles to people. And I guess I just like to ask you, Diana to just share some of your memories with us.

Diana McLenigan  2:15  
Well, I would like to share with you, Patrick's Patrick as a little boy. We were living in the Ozarks, and we didn't have very much money. And this day happened to be Patrick's birthday. And we didn't have the funds at that time to have a party for him. But Patrick did not want to do think about this. And he said, Well, let's have a party anyhow. And so one day he came home from school from the school bus, and he invited all of his friends on the school bus to the house for a party. And this was surprise surprise mom. And so on the spur of the moment, we had a birthday party for Pat. This was how Pat was; he loved to be happy. He loved to have fun. He loved seeing people being happy. This was his his whole life. And from even the time of birth, you know, he was a beautiful, wonderful caring child. He never, he never was a problem when he was a child. He always wanted other people to have fun and take …, what I'm trying to say is, he tried, he just portrayed happiness, he never thought of anything bad, or anything awful happening to him. And this is what I would like to share. He just, his spirit, it was just such a beautiful, beautiful spirit. And I shouldn't say was because it's still here. And it always will be. His spirit continues to live on through many, many friends, many, many friends of St. Louis, and Wichita, and Syracuse and California and all over the world. I could not be better. I could not be proud more proud than I am at this at this time.

John Hilgeman  4:42  
Alan, why don't you tell us about when you met Patrick.

Alan Lenigan  4:46  
Well, I met Patrick at the same time I met his mother Diana in 1979 in Kansas City. And what really impressed me first about Patrick was his desire to jump in with complete enthusiasm, and to really, to get it done in a way, if it was only just cooking omelets on a Sunday morning, or whether approaching his job as a waiter or a cashier, he performed many tasks, but he always gave 100%. And I learned a lot from that. And this was before he was diagnosed. And after his diagnosis, I didn't see any decrease in his enthusiasm. In fact, I think he, he gave even more of himself to, to do everything that he had to do. And then to help others as well.

John Hilgeman  5:35  
And you met through the NAMES Project Workshop, right?

Patrick Gregory  5:43  
I was getting involved with the NAMES Project. And Patrick, of course, was one of the coordinators of it. And I, I was not lucky enough to know Patrick far, but maybe two years after he had been diagnosed. And at first, I didn't even know that he was a person living with AIDS, because he had such high energy and it kind of rubbed off on everybody else. He was the kind of person that could get you motivated, and really get a lot of work out of you. And he didn't do it in a demeaning or demanding way, but out of love, and with a special kind of, I don't know how you describe it, he just, he could get you to work and make you feel loyal and make you feel special, because you can see that he was giving. And that made you want to give to and I didn't know him when he was younger, I wish I had, I think he was someone that I would have been friends with for a long, long time. And, and like Diana said, he's gone physically, but his spirits still all around us. And I know that I would like to keep carrying on the things that he did the NAMES Project and several other things, I hope that we can do it, because I know he would want us to do that. I really do.

John Hilgeman  6:58  
One of the things that I remember in particular about Pat, is, well, he's worked with the media. And he taught me a lot about the media. And I know that well, last December, the two of us did interviews here at at station, and it was it was kind of neat, really was, and just listening over those interviews afterwards and hearing him laugh and cry and just, you know, hear his energy and his life. And that's something that really struck me. And also the just, it took a lot of pictures of Pat in the last couple of years and a smile and a lot of them and also think of some of those earlier pictures were one where he's in bed kind of looking out with it with a kind of expression on his face there. And he really kind of an extraordinary person. What things in particular, would you like to say about … I guess one, one question I have Pat was, was gay. And I always felt that he was very comfortably gay, at least in the time that I knew him. And I knew, you know, anybody who's who's gay, there's a period of struggle for some people longer than for others. And coming to terms with that. A Dianna you saw him at a time when he was coming to terms with being gay and you as a mother, and you know, had to deal with that yourself and also family members. Can you share a bit about about what you saw and how you felt and reacted? 

Diana McLenigan  8:38  
Certainly. I have to admit, when I first … I had just a little bit of a hunch that he was he was gay. I didn't, I didn't realize until he was in his 20s that he was a homosexual. I didn't know that. I must have to say honestly, that.  You know, I didn't understand … I love my son. I have always loved all my children. And I didn't know how to deal with this. And I know when Pat was working as a waiter in Kansas City, he left a couple of books around for me to read, you know, and trying to you know, so he knew that I would pick them up and read them and, you know, kind of open up a little bit and this is what I did. And although I didn't understand it, I knew I loved him. His friends were all very, very nice. I was maybe a little bit ashamed, at first, to be honest. But after thinking and, and desiding, you know, I have to deal with this, although I didn't understand at first, I got closer and closer with Pat, you know, and we talked, and we talked and, you know, I, he's my son and I, I am not ashamed. I'm very, very proud of him. As has been said before, he has accomplished more in the last two years of his life than most people do in a lifetime. And I have no problem with him being gay. And I'm very happy to say that even his brothers, some of his brothers have had a problem dealing with this. And they are now opening up more since Patrick's death, they, they have always loved him, they've never rejected him. But they have had a problem dealing with his sexual preference. And I think now they're realizing it doesn't make any difference. It doesn't make any difference at all, you know, everybody's different. But we all should be bonded together in the union of love. And I think this might be one thing that Patrick's death has accomplished is to see that you don't have to be a stranger to each other, even though you're different. You all have the same union of love. If you just open up your arms, open up your heart, and receive everybody and accept everybody. There is so much to be gained. I would think what a terrible loss. It is a terrible loss of Pat's death. But what a terrible loss if he had never lived. If he had ever been open, if he had ever done what he's has done. What a terrible loss. And, as Patrick, like Gregory here said, his work will continue. And I'm sure that Pat will keep on working. Everybody will keep on, keep the cycle going on. This is my precious son that, I don't know. I can't picture him being dead. I really can't. I haven't. He's not dead. He still lives. He's all around everywhere.

John Hilgeman  12:46  
I can't either. I was I was feeling kind of good the last couple of days and almost feeling guilty about feeling good, right. And I realized one of the things is that I really feel Patrick's still around. And it's, you know, I can look at these pictures, hear his voice on tapes, and just even just feel him. And I you were talking about the love and thinking that that's something that really struck me about the memorial celebration that people were there. That's what really bonded us together. I love for Patrick and Patrick's love for us. And some people, you know, very conservative, others, much more, right? Liberal or whatever in mindset. And yeah, we were all there because of their love for Patrick. And really, in a sense, I think is his, maybe his gayness and his openness about it. And also his openness about having AIDS was something that was a real gift to us, bringing us together and helping us to love even more. And I think of some of the some of some of the panels that have been made for people who have died of AIDS and how some family members had been really upset. They don't want their children to be identified as having been gay or having had AIDS having died of AIDS. And I think it's almost like, it's really a denial of that person's existence of a very important part of their existence of a central part of their life, their sexuality, and the way they love and also a central part of their life that that they died of, of you know that they struggled with this disease, which creates a lot of problems for people. And I think Patrick's being open about this. He really has. I think that's one of his great gifts.

Diana McLenigan  14:32  
Oh, definitely. He's always been open about so many things. And I really think that this was, as you might say, predestined because he has brought so much awareness and, and he has, he has been responsible he and Glen Weaver and they have been so responsible for you know opening up the

Transcribed by https://otter.ai