The Case of the Appearing Friend 


A conversation about a failed relationship is followed immediately by a sighting of the person being talked about. 

The category of 'magic' may actually not be the best place to store examples of meaningful coincidence, yet, when these things happen to us, and they seem really significant, that is just how they feel—like magic.

Stephen and I were driving in the truck to buy some plants for the garden, and Stephen was talking about a past relationship he had with a family of two parents and two children. The names don't matter. However, this was a very significant relationship for Stephen, because he spent several years as a "danny" for these two children. Stephen was reflecting on the fact that he now never hears from these people. "And you never call them, either," I reminded. We continued to talk about this matter, and not for more than a minute, when suddenly, I spotted one of the very parents we were discussing on a bike coming out of the park. I might add that this was about two and one half miles from their house, so, not an astonishing distance, but not where you would expect to see them on any regular schedule.

Since I'm not identifying the family, let's call this parent "Sharon." I said, "I think that's Sharon." She looked very trim and healthy. Stephen agreed that it was indeed Sharon. And then he said what people usually say in this kind of situation: "Well, that's a coincidence." To which I replied, "I don't think it's just a coincidence." And then I proceeded to explain what I thought to Stephen.

I told him that I think that there are "cracks" in the causal order. We live in a law-abiding Universe; we don't create everything we see just out of our mind. Not the rocks or the bushes that are growing in a certain location. But even given the laws that govern the physical bodies in the universe, there is a lot that is not determined about the future. In particular, I offered Stephen my opinion that this sighting of Sharon was really an opportunity created by the possibility that Stephen and Sharon could still renew this relationship. Indeed, the relationship could have been renewed right then and there. We could have turned the corner and caught up and chatted with her. We didn't.

I also said to Stephen that in the end, however, it was not my opinion about what happened that counted, but rather his opinion and Sharon's opinion. I told him that any two human beings can be in a relationship (dialog), but that it is almost totally up to the two of them how that relationship will turn out, be maintained, and end. I said that I thought this was just the Universe saying to Stephen, "Well, here she is, what do you want to do about it?"

Now here is a completely metaphysical conclusion, since no scientific discipline can ever validate this claim. The possibility of their continuing their former relationship is in both of their minds. In the domain of freedom, a meaningful relationship exists, and from beyond space and time, this coincidental meeting was arranged. I don't think we need to put ANY specific theological interpretation on this, though many will. I just think that the Universe, Sharon and Stephen arranged this meeting as a sign of the possibility of continuing the relationship.

This kind of thing happens ALL THE TIME in my world.  

Posted: Fri - June 30, 2006 at 04:46 PM          

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