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2018 Annual History of James "Jym" Andris and Stephen L. Nichols

And so begins Christmas letter 46, my first one being from 1972. I have to admit, they have become more than just a friendly Christmas greeting. So let's get it out at the very beginning: dear friend(s), if you got a copy of this annual letter, then somewhere along the line you have tweaked at least one of the hearts of this household. We remember you, and we send you strong wishes for your continued welfare in the New Year. Or, as I used to say, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

And now, read and look as you have inclination. Most of the smaller images are clickable for larger size.

This has been a year of further challenge for Stephen and me, but I am happy to report that Stephen and I are just plain solid in responding as a team to these challenges. So for both of us, challenges have become new learning opportunities, and we love learning opportunities.

We certainly had a great time visiting with Stephanie, Dawn and Zander just the week after Christmas. That visit was especially appreciated, since Stephen was recovering from a mild stroke earlier in December. We just mostly hung out, worked jigsaw puzzles and conversed. We used the occasion to hire a photographer, Lisa Fioretti, to come over and take some family pictures and portraits. We really can't travel any more, so we are grateful for these visits. Also, the neat thing about the web is, a picture is worth a thousand words, and an online letter is nice to the environment.

One last shot, for your happy holidays sentiment:

I have had a busy year, a few times bordering on exhausting. Someone talked me into being treasurer of the charitable fund they raise at Bethesda Gardens every year, but they didn't tell me that I basically was in charge of the entire fund-raising process. Nevertheless, you know, spreadsheets and me, we're good. We ended up with an 85% participation rate. Most of the fund goes to Christmas gifts for the hourly employees here, who are given checks at the annual Christmas Party. That was indeed a very rewarding event and made all the effort worth it and more.

I found time to stay involved with my LGBT Community. I met several times with the Stonewall 50 Planning Committee leading up to this year's pride, and argued my point that it was also the 40th Anniversary of the very important 1979 National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights. I have done extensive original research on the roots of LGBTQ pride in St. Louis, and through my connections I was able to secure another important interview; it was with Allen Levin, who made many of the original tee shirts and posters for St. Louis Pride. Allen has a fascinating story to tell. Below are photographs of some of the important artifacts of Pride in St. Louis that he produced. Finally, I continued to meet once in a while with my transgendered community here in St. Louis.

By May, Stephen had seemed to have bounced back from his December, 2017 stroke, and so I took a chance and scheduled my first respite (two days) from his care in seven years. I got on Amtrak here in Kirkwood and rode to celebrate the International Scott Joplin Festival in Sedalia, Missouri. I had a wonderful adventure, and I will give some links to details when I talk about my blog.

Unfortunately, just the week of my return, the first week in June, Stephen had three serious falls in 5 days. Well, we pulled out all the stops to find the cause. A week later, we had our answer: Stephen had had one more stroke. This time, we had a major mid-course alteration of our life plan. We have spend the last six months developing a safer plan of daily activities for Stephen, and I believe that we have succeeded. He can still walk on a walker, but his range and mobility have been severely restricted.

One heartbreaking alteration of our schedule is that, after 30 years of loyal service to Trinity Episcopal Church's choir—Stephen singing in it, and for the last 10 years, me transporting him to choir practice and Sunday services—Stephen retired from the choir. It really does make a hole in our musical lives, but we have replaced it with some homebound music appreciation. We especially miss regularly seeing all the dedicated souls in the choir that we have come to know and love, and who have supported us as we continued to do our best to remain in community. Below are two pictures from this last year of the choir.

Jeffrey Nall directs the Trinity Choir	Stephen and his choir buddy, Jane

The other problem we have struggled with is just getting to Trinity to worship. Frankly, it's hard, but we're working out a new balance. I also resigned from altar server, which I have done for a long time, but remain on sacristy duty.

One day a resident noticed Stephen struggling along on a walker and mentioned that she had an electric scooter that belonged to her husband before he died that she would be willing to part with. And so Stephen ended up with a Jazzy Six Pride scooter without much effort at all. He takes it on longer trips around the building and to dinner every night. And now that the occupational therapist has been helping him, he is using it in his office along with the walker for better access and mobility.

Stephen and his Jazzy 6 Scooter	Stephen and Fr. Richard Schneck

Stephen says: "After more than 50 years Fr. Richard Schneck, S.J. came to visit me at Bethesda Gardens. He has been working for the past 30 years in Quito, Equador teaching Latin and the Hebrew Bible to seminarians. He had come to the USA during his Jubilee to see family and old friends. We were fellow students and friends from high school, through the Jesuit Novitiate, Juniorate and Philosophate. Jim and I took Richard on a tour of sites in St. Louis, including St. Louis University, and Richard and I remembered old friends, some of them now deceased. I was delighted to renew our friendship and appreciative of his visit."

I have been blogging again on several topics, including some of my political thoughts, my challenging trip to Sedalia, Missouri with nothing but a backpack and no rented car, my struggles as a transgender person, and saluting various people who have died, including my dad. If you want to check that out, you can at my current blog, For Lack of a Better Wor(l)d.

My younger sister, Vicki, and her husband of 50 years, Jerry Smith, came out to St. Louis to visit with us for a couple of days. Since it is hard for Stephen and me to get back to Marietta now, the visit was both a fun reunion and much appreciated. We mainly hung out and talked, but we did take them to see the Holiday Show at the Botanical Gardens.

Click to see the skaters and the train	Jym and Stephen, Vicki and Jerry (clickable)

Stephen's older sister, Janice Pope, died earlier in December in Bend, Oregon in a nursing home. She lived on the Brookings, Oregon coast for many years, but came to Bend to be nearer to her daughter, Karen Horton's family. Stephen and Janice were close, and we enjoyed many visits over the years in both St. Louis and Oregon. We are saddened by her loss.

Remembering Janice Pope

Janice and father, Chester Nichols, 1985, Brookings, Oregon	Janice and daughter, Karen Horton, and mother, Fern Honeycutt, 1985, Brookings
Janice and Jim, 1997, St. Louis	Janice and Stephen, 2003, Grafton, Illinois
Janice, sister-in-law, Jackie Nichols and Stephen, 2010, Missouri Botanical Gardens	Janice, sister-in-law, Jackie Nichols, Jim and Stephen, 2015, Missouri Botanical Gardens

Zander is continuing with his ballet studies very impressively. He goes to the private, independent Montessori Inly School during the day. He also takes ballet technique classes, modern dance and character dance classes Tuesday-Saturday with the Boston Ballet School. In addition, Zander auditioned for and got a small part in the Boston Ballet production of the Nutcracker. He will have been in 14 performances by Dec. 29. Stephanie has been transporting him to all these events.

Zander in the Nutcraker

We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, and we hope that your year was a good one and filled with as many blessings as ours has been.

Stephen and Jym