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Annual History of James Andris and Stephen Nichols 2021

Last year I posted our annual letter on Sunday, Dec. 13. On Dec. 17 i developed a stuffy nose. Then I lost my sense of smell. Over the next two weeks I was to learn how to survive Covid-19 while being a live-in 24/7 caregiver. Anyone who wants to read the details can consult my blogs on this event. Suffice it to say that Jan. 1, 2021 was the first day in two weeks that I did not carry a fever. And Stephen never caught it.

We were hunkered down for the first five months of the year. They delivered one meal a day to our door, and I did the grocery shopping on-line. I only went out for drive-through pharmacy trips and necessary doctor visits. We got used to this new routine, but the isolation was difficult. It was during this time that I decided to withdraw from all my LGBTQ history work and consider my caregiving for myself and Stephen my full time job.

By March, every resident had been fully vaccinated with two Moderna shots. Late spring saw things open up here, since the risk was considerably reduced. They started serving in the dining room again in late spring, but we didn't go down for a couple more months. Now we do go down almost every early evening. I don't have to clean up the supper dishes, and more importantly, Stephen gets some social interaction with whomever we happen to be dining with.

One of the big, albeit slow in unfolding highs of the year has been Stephen's continued exploration of exomes, RNA molecule-sized particles derived from stem cells, as a way to strengthen and heal his shoulders, which have been severely damaged by osteoarthritis. He has received three series of injections of two different products over the last several months. The results have been encouraging. He can again feed himself, has regained a moderate reach, and has less pain. The treatments were an investment, since they are not covered by insurance. The general field of medicine is regenerative medicine. His doctor is Matthew Bayes at the Bluetail Medical Group in Chesterfield, MO.

Stephen had to go to the hospital for a week in October, with an unspecified gi virus. He needed the hospital's help, but now he seems to have bounced back. I took Stephen to the Medical West ostomy nurse in February, and what we learned from her has made our lives a lot easier. Best $95 I ever spent.

Despite his decreased mobility, Stephen continues to have an active mind. Woe to anyone on the evening news who speaks on anything but progressive policies; they will be castigated. He continues to study scientific and theological topics and issues through sources such as National Geograpic and a website called Wondrium which offers access to many courses by outstanding professors. He's also reading John Spong's last book, Eternal Life: A New Vision.

I read a bit here and there, but the one thing I try to do every day is practice early Beethoven Sonatas on my Yamaha electronic piano for at least a half hour.

I was fortunate to work on a committee that got our church, Trinity Episcopal Church in St. Louis, listed on the National Register of Historic Places for its 70 years of outreach to and sheltering of the LGBTQ community. The impetus for this project was the research work of Katie Batza, who is an associate professor at U. of Kansas at Lawrence and Ian Darnell, Curatorial Assistant at the Missouri Historical Society. We celebrated the achievement on June 26 of this year, and you can see some of the celebration on this youtube video made by Nine Network.

Living in a retirement community does put you more in touch with the end of life, and we have lost several friends this year; notably both of our 101 year old bridge partners, Helen and Metzie, have departed. In August I attended by Zoom a memorial for Judy Hunter given by her life partner Janet Utley.

This fall we had two visits from family. Stephen got to see his niece, "Tweetie," her daughter, Jamie Nicole, and her mother, Jackie (his brother, Jim's wife). Earlier, Stephen's nephew/namesake, Stephen Francis, wife, Jo, and dog, Iris, came for an afternoon. They just bought a winter home on Kauai. Last month I was visited by my 2nd cousin once removed, Michael Sullivan from New Jersey. We met online through our joint genealogy adventures, and he thought it was time we should meet in person!

After many earlier adventures in acquiring help for Stephen's caregiving, we had finally decided I would just be his caregiver. His care is complex, and my caregiving for Stephen is the least disruptive of our lives. However, this summer, we found a wonderful caregiver, Jane, who comes a few times a month and gives us a break. That has allowed me to go back to church once in a while and to attend a monthly dinner of friends from Trinity Episcopal.

In November, having watched my 80th birthday come and pass without so much as a cake ridiculously loaded with burning candles, I decided to offer a concert for the residents on Dec. 3 with a performance. I lasted the whole hour, playing and singing everything from Carole King's "Up on the Roof" and Paul Simon's "50 Ways to Leave your Lover" to Felix Arndt's "Nola" and William Bolcom's "Graceful Ghost." And well over 50 people sang "Happy Birthday to You" to Jym Andris.

And here is the best news of all. After two years without seeing one another except on Zoom, Stephen and I hosted daughter Stephanie, spouse, Dawn, and grandchild, Sasha for a week here at Bethesda Gardens. They brought their whole Christmas celebration to their Papas, Christmas tree, delicious meals, stockings loaded with presents, long talks, great films and all. We are truly blessed.

(All images are clickable for greater resolution.)

Dawn and Stephanie trim, Stephen watches	Dawn and Sasha
Stephen and Jim eat filet mignon	Sasha gives Stephen a present
Dawn and Stephanie prepare a meal for us	Ringing the bells on Christmas Eve
Oh, the presents!	We are feted royally.
Thank you Sasha, Dawn and Stephanie for a most wonderful Christmas!