I'd like to curl up to a cowboy
In a bunk house in old Laramie.
I'd give up this city job now, boy,
The country life's alright by me.
We'd ride through the wide-open spaces
Where the deer and the antelope love
And I'd make love to him in places
That a cowboy has never thought of.
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I'd like to discover a phone man's
Truck parked on the street where I live.
I'd take him right into my home, man
And give him all I had to give.
I'd have him install his extension
In a place that's convenient for me.
Yes, I'd use Bell's fantastic invention
In a way that was kicky and free.
Oh, I'd like to hold hands with a hard hat
Down at Harry and Ann's Bar and Grill.
I'd let him treat me like a doormat
And say "Do with me what you will!"
We'd sit and watch football on Sunday,
Drink Budweiser beer by the case.
When he left in his Chevy on Monday,
I'd watch all the soaps at his place.
I once thought I'd go in the army;
It's one place that I've never been.
My mom said that it wouldn't harm me.
"You're right, Mom," I said with a grin.
I'm wisely and gladly remaining
At home, but I sit by the hour
And dream of the great basic training
I'd give to the boys in the shower.
Oh, I'd like to start fires with a fireman
Or cuddle right up to a cop.
I'd turn them on so with desire, man,
That they'd beg me never to stop.
So beware all you dudes hot and hunky--
I'm horny as horny can be.
If you want to try something funky
You'd better get ready for me.