Marge and I, we bought ourselves an old house in the country.
Front porch had sagged and rotted;
Wallpaper, torn and spotted.
Someone said the house was haunted;
Still, we moved in, quite undaunted.
Eerie vibes around us, but we kept our courage.
Planted flowers in the front yard;
Painted walls and window sashes.
We had never worked so hard or cleaned up such unsightly trash.
Then one night when we were sleeping
Something set our hearts to leaping:
Things were moving in the attic
And were getting quite emphatic!
I was scared, but Marge surmised
It might have been a bat, or mice,
But then we heard some insane laughter.
Things were falling from the rafters.
Spooks were dancing in a circle in the master bedroom!
We grabbed our clothes and scurried.
I've never been so worried.
Barely got the auto started.
From those spooks we swiftly parted.
Now, we're just plain city folks, and glad we are.