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And Yet We Are Philosophers!

© 1968 by Jim Andris

Philosophers were once the kings who made decisions and ruled the world,
But Hume revealed dichotomies that left our ethical sails unfurled.
Cosmologies that once were famed were crudely shamed by Newton,
So critical thought and science has sent speculation scootin'.

Philosophy of science is a thoroughly metalinguistic task;
We never stop to bother with the psychological questions asked.
Fantastic men like Wittgenstein have set the task before us,
And they never ask the psychological question, "Does it bore us?"

(To the tune of The Doxology.)
We now can tell philosophers
Of education what to do.
The standard has been set for all time:
Analysis defines the true.

(To the tune of "It Is No Secret What God Can Do.")
It is no secret what we can do;
We can help the educators define the true.

So … we can't abide the Dewey-eyed attempts to set all our futures straight,
And nothing's more far-fetched than Plato's ideal for the Greek city-state.
And yet we are philosophers; we can't admit paralysis.
So let educators make the moves, and we'll provide analysis.