Alright, so while we're in a dark spot, we will go even darker. This song connotes to me the reality of yin and yang from one of the darkest times I have a song that I think is probably one of the best, in my opinion, one of the prettiest songs that I have written. And it's about the, when a piece of me wants to die, but there's other pieces that don't, but a piece of you dies. So when I was writing the title to this song, I wrote down what I thought I was writing, Facing the Death Wish, but then when I looked back at it, it was Faithing the Death Wish, Faithing, and the unconscious made the better selection, since there's affirmation of life in the song, you can spot it. [Laughs.]
It makes me cry to want to die
So I know I really mustn't want to, but
With no wins and five losses
A gambler ought to choose
Why should I be persisting in a game I always lose?
Just cash the chips
and pay my dues
And I feel just like dying
So tired of trying …
I go to work, take exercise—
the healthy thing to do
I talk to my friends, have dinner out
As though I wanted to
When all along I'm turning
Back inside my own mind
Hearing like the deaf hear
Seeing like one blind
Making proper comments as I know
how to be nice
Frowning at the sad spots
Raising eyebrows at the spice
I raise my eyebrows at the spice
Waiting to be alone
At ease, at home, alone
Where I fill the hours
And I carve the stone
But lately all such carings
just spring out to haunt me
I make music for no one to hear
I make pictures for no one to see
I am alone and lonely. lonely
I've done fair well
Let me just lay down now
If my life deeds all were traced
They'd show I made a better place
So can't I just lay down now?
It's so hard to keep livin' alone
When friends sound like strangers
on my telephone
And love leaves me standing
all alone
And my love leaves me standing
all alone
In my intellectual mind
I like myself just fine
It's just the resister
The sad, weeping sister with no wins
and five losses,
That the gambler must choose
The sad weeping sister
With no wins and five losses
That the gambler, the gambler
has to choose.