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A Letter to Jesus

That night I found myself on the floor with what I thought was a heart attack. I called a good friend, Wayne, and begged him to come over, which he did. He stayed with me and rubbed my back until it became apparent that I had
simply had a stress attack.

Wayne had been trying to get me to go to a spiritual support group, a Course in Miracles group, for months, and I had stoutly refused. Now he simply said, "Well, Jim, I'm going to this group meeting tonight, and if you'd like, you can come along. " I gratefully accepted his offer.

Now, I had made some peace with God in the middle 70's at a gay church, and I had meditated for years, but this group offered me something different.They were talking about making miracles, about healing through forgiving. After a few of these meetings, I realized that I had a lot of forgiving to do, starting with my parents, and moving forward from there through nearly every important human relationship that I had experienced. I had a grudge against the world.

I wrote a letter to Jesus Christ, and I promised him that I would never again allow myself to become so downtrodden. I told him that I was ashamed that a man of my talents, position in life, and many friends could complain so bitterly about this one alleged lack. I swore that I never again would seek a lover, and that if I were to have one, he would have to beat down my door. And I went about my life.

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