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The Music of Personal Freedom

(Begin playing Carole King's “Tapestry” [1971] in the background)

It was in the swirling music of personal freedom of the late sixties that I
began to crawl out of the very dark cave I had dug for myself.

(Fade in Tapestry

My life has been a tapestry
Of rich and royal hue;
An everlasting vision
Of the ever-changing view;
A wond'rous woven magic
In bits of blue and gold;
A tapestry to feel and see;
Impossible to hold.

and to background)

James Taylor and Carole King helped my attitude as much as any psychiatrist I was ever to visit. I found a position as a professor at a university near St. Louis and began to explore new possibilities.

(Fade out Tapestry.)

In 1971 I found myself in the office of a Washington University counselor, a handsome, dark-eyed man a little older than me.

"All my life there's two things I always wanted to do!" I blurted, "Play in a rock band and have sex with a man."

"What stops you?" Tom replied in a gentle, accepting voice.

From this two sentence interchange flowed a decade of fantastic self-exploration.

(Begin playing James Taylor's “Don't Let Me Be Lonely Tonight” [1972])

Do me wrong, do me right,
Tell me lies but hold me tight,
Save your goodbyes for the morning light,
But don't let me be lonely tonight.

fade to background)

Say goodbye and say hello,
Sure enough good to see you, but it's time to go,
Don't say yes but please don't say no,
I don't want to be lonely tonight.

Go away then, damn you,
Go on and do as you please,
You ain't gonna see me

It has been said that I didn't just come out of the closet, I blew the door off the hinges.

Somehow I found a gay bar in East St. Louis. It only took me an hour to go inside. Sitting at the bar shrinking into my jacket on this cold autumn night, I heard Chuck, the bartender, announce, "Hello all you cocksuckers! I'll bet you didn't know I knew, did you?"

(Fade in “Don’t Let Me Be Lonely” )

gettin' down on my knees.
I'm undecided, and your heart's been divided,
You've been turning my world upside down.

and to background.)

Do me wrong, do me right (right now baby),
Go on and tell me lies

I loved the Red Bull. There was a drag show upstairs, a leather bar in the basement, and normal faggots like myself on the first floor.

(Fade in “Don’t Let Me Be Lonely” )

but hold me tight.
Save your goodbyes for the morning light (morning light),
But don't let me be lonely tonight.
I don't want to be lonely tonight.
No, no, I don't want to be lonely tonight.

(Fade out James Taylor's Don't Let Me Be Lonely Tonight)

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