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So You're A VirginThe next spring I met an artist through a gay newsletter. He changed my life. I always fall in love in the spring. He was charming, talented, handsome, and manipulative. The thing I remember most vividly about that first night was holding him. At the end of the evening he had remarked in surprise, "So you're a virgin! Well, this is going to be interesting." Then he led me off to bed. The sex was not inspired, but holding him until the wee hours, that was wonderful. Every cell of my body breathed in this new male presence. To make a long love story short, we bought a house, I was naive, he was unfaithful, I wouldn't let him bankrupt me, and he left. But he taught me so much. So much. I learned about art and astrology, gay men and their ways, transactional analysis, and just how to give and take. I'm afraid poor Jonathan felt fairly ripped off by the way things turned out. He's dead now, of AIDS. Most of my dear friends have died of AIDS. But Jonathan, over this long void, I still love you, will always love you. I didn't make a very good parent, but you were a wonderful teacher. |